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PastPoop7/22/2003-Another Reason That I Should Not Have Reproduced.Here we go with yet another messenger battle of someone who pinged me in the Yahoo checkers chat. This chick was funny. She pinged me, and seemed to have no clue as to what I was saying. She was like Bob Hope after a hot tottie. Be sure to check out her profile at Yahoo too, it says a lot about her neurons misfiring. Again I used the below pic to lure chicks. It's dreadful, but hey, it brings in the fools and makes these pieces even funnier..who the hell would wanna chat with a guy who looks so constipated? And no, that pic is not me, but I do know him...sorta. Anyway, onwards and upwards. This is the pic used on my profile as bait....he looks as though he's holding a poopy. His foster parents were at my wedding. doxologyvfv: a-hem. flarschenleuger: ahem what? doxologyvfv: Nothing. doxologyvfv: Nice farmer's tan. flarschenleuger: do you have phlegm? doxologyvfv: Not as of right now. flarschenleuger: i do. i like my redneck tan doxologyvfv: you do what? flarschenleuger: i like my tan. builds character. doxologyvfv: Oh. doxologyvfv: Also builds skin cancer. doxologyvfv: But that is a petty concern. flarschenleuger: yes, but i havee a penis to compensate. IT'S COLD IN MY RECTUM. flarschenleuger: and i cannot spell. doxologyvfv: Sadly, I do not have a compensating penis. flarschenleuger: i nearly lost mine flarschenleuger: cheese grating accident doxologyvfv: Ow. flarschenleuger: of course, involving midgets doxologyvfv: ...of course. flarschenleuger: those bastards are out to get me. doxologyvfv: I can imagine. doxologyvfv: *imagining* flarschenleuger: imagine all the people. doxologyvfv: Lennon fan, eh. flarschenleuger: living for the daaayyyy AHHHAAHAHHAHA. or something. flarschenleuger: hell no. doxologyvfv: Why not? flarschenleuger: i like john denver. flarschenleuger: denver doxologyvfv: He's just okay. doxologyvfv: how about Tom Waits? flarschenleuger: i really like neil diamond unplugged and liberace. doxologyvfv: I dig Neil Diamond. doxologyvfv: Not so much with the latter, though. flarschenleuger: and kylie minogue. she makes me horny. doxologyvfv: I do not know that person. flarschenleuger: australian chick..nice ass... doxologyvfv: Okay. flarschenleuger: so...sup? doxologyvfv: It's too late to ask that. doxologyvfv: That's something you say up-front. flarschenleuger: indeed. it's a side effect of my ritalin. doxologyvfv: sweet. flarschenleuger: as is my spelling performance. doxologyvfv: Indeed. flarschenleuger: i know.....A/S/L? doxologyvfv: har. doxologyvfv: All minor details are included on my profile. flarschenleuger: know what my name means in german? doxologyvfv: Capitalism is key? doxologyvfv: ...am I close? flarschenleuger: no, it's the ladning signal for l. ron's seaorg troops. they used german cause they like wagner and goebbels. flarschenleuger: landing flarschenleuger: lemme check yo profile...BRB! doxologyvfv: Wagner is the fellow opposed to Judaism, ain't he. flarschenleuger: all germans are. they barbecued them. flarschenleuger: but i prefer french and brazilian music above all. doxologyvfv: I tried to play Die Miestersinger, once. flarschenleuger: i played Der Skinnenflute. doxologyvfv: Or however it's spelled. doxologyvfv: uh-huh. flarschenleuger: i am german descended but i don't look aryan. DON'T CALL ME A DAGO! doxologyvfv: Edith Piaf? doxologyvfv: Chopin? I saw his gravestone. flarschenleuger: never heard of her, but she sounds syphilitic. doxologyvfv: I think she is free of most diseases. doxologyvfv: Except for the disease of being dead. flarschenleuger: then she has gangrene... doxologyvfv: I guess I wouldn't know. flarschenleuger: do you like pound puppies? doxologyvfv: ...the stuffed ones? flarschenleuger: i collect them. have since '87. flarschenleuger: yes. doxologyvfv: Ah. Your softer side. flarschenleuger: my soft side is due to too many doritos and beernuts doxologyvfv: harhar. doxologyvfv: I have to pee. BRB. flarschenleuger: seriously. i jiggle like a jello mold. flarschenleuger: k. doxologyvfv: I'm back. doxologyvfv: But you look so buff. doxologyvfv: Must be a plastic mold you've covered yourself with. flarschenleuger: yes indeed. doxologyvfv: neat trick. flarschenleuger: it's the polyurethane mold provided by my thetan brothers. HAIL OVARIAN THETANS! doxologyvfv: Sweet. flarschenleuger: all hail xemu! doxologyvfv: mmhm. doxologyvfv: See, now you're just trying to drive me away. flarschenleuger: okay i'll stop. flarschenleuger: do you like gruntplop? flarschenleuger: .org? doxologyvfv: what is it?... flarschenleuger: a kickas website. it also boosts production of melanoma, but the good part is it amkes seratonin too. flarschenleuger: kickass. doxologyvfv: uh-huh. flarschenleuger: it is. doxologyvfv: is it porn? flarschenleuger: no. flarschenleuger: i don't believe in porn doxologyvfv: as in, you don't believe it exists? flarschenleuger: i don't believe in the principle of getting naked and exchanging filthy bodily fluids. doxologyvfv: But that's what sex is. flarschenleuger: i find the very act inconscienable. flarschenleuger: but to film it? flarschenleuger: i'd rather watch walter mathau doxologyvfv: ...having sex? flarschenleuger: not nekkid of course... perhaps him dry humping jack lemmon or doris day. flarschenleuger: well...no no! flarschenleuger: besides he's a stiff now too. doxologyvfv: You want to make Walter Mathaw stiff. doxologyvfv: Mathau. flarschenleuger: no tom selelck. flarschenleuger: selelck. fuck..that magnum pi asshole. SELLECK! doxologyvfv: Oh. flarschenleuger: see? my tourrete's is taking hold. flarschenleuger: forgot a t in there too. flarschenleuger: do you fish? doxologyvfv: No. flarschenleuger: i do. it brings out the skill of man's mastery over beast. flarschenleuger: do you watch E.R.? doxologyvfv: Yeah. The only way to make that obvious is to fish. doxologyvfv: I'm not a TV kind of person. flarschenleuger: nor am i. i like E.R. though, and Buffy. doxologyvfv: haha. flarschenleuger: sometimes i watch A&E for their insightful pieces on silent film directors and their coke habits doxologyvfv: I don't have cable. flarschenleuger: i steal it. doxologyvfv: That's cute. flarschenleuger: can't afford their imperialist propaganda, so i jack it. WHY MUST I ITCH!?!?!?!?! flarschenleuger: i'll pay soon though. i'm no commie thief. doxologyvfv: Okay. doxologyvfv: God speed. doxologyvfv: etcf. doxologyvfv: or, etc. flarschenleuger: are you religious? doxologyvfv: No. flarschenleuger: i am. doxologyvfv: Congratulations. flarschenleuger: but i'm no zealot. mmm..... choir boys and pulpit humps. doxologyvfv: Good to know. doxologyvfv: Denomination? flarschenleuger: the one that believes in God. doxologyvfv: ah. flarschenleuger: not sure, but we make quilts for Cubans. doxologyvfv: That's nice of you, really flarschenleuger: do you find me effervescent? flarschenleuger: i like that word. doxologyvfv: what is that? like...overflowing with enthusiasm? flarschenleuger: overflowing with something.... doxologyvfv: Keep it in your pants. flarschenleuger: are you implying erection on my part? doxologyvfv: No sir. flarschenleuger: k, cause i'm chaste doxologyvfv: Ah. And you don't get erections. flarschenleuger: only for anna paquin and janene garafalo. doxologyvfv: And, now, me. *winning smile* flarschenleuger: i may be gay though, i have tendencies, but i don't act on them doxologyvfv: Oh yeah? flarschenleuger: yes. doxologyvfv: That's neat. flarschenleuger: in all seriousness...i don't know how i feel about it... doxologyvfv: Well. Keep your options open. flarschenleuger: i try... doxologyvfv: My boyfriend let a guy suck him off, once. flarschenleuger: i'm just afraid. doxologyvfv: I was mildly disturbed to hear it. flarschenleuger: that is pewpy doxologyvfv: oui. flarschenleuger: so...sorry i'm being an ass... flarschenleuger: i'm just excited..dunno why. IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flarschenleuger: it might be because william shatner's in town!!!!!!!!!!!! doxologyvfv: Might be. flarschenleuger: be because he supports nasal method appendectomies, and my fruit cake is burning. doxologyvfv: You aren't being an ass. flarschenleuger: well ty. doxologyvfv: I had to go take care of the UPS man, is all. flarschenleuger: how? flarschenleuger: just sign off..or..? doxologyvfv: *dirty thoughts* doxologyvfv: Well, mainly just answer the door. etc. doxologyvfv: WINK. doxologyvfv: and show off my pink lacie undies. doxologyvfv: 'lacie' looks like it's spelled funny. flarschenleuger: ever seen that raisin bran crunch commercial? doxologyvfv: I don't think so. flarschenleuger: that has the deliverey guy and that fugly chick? doxologyvfv: mm. flarschenleuger: that's an awesome commercial. flarschenleuger: hello? flarschenleuger: come back! i was not inferring you were fugly...well, i guess i was but, you're only a slight loss. flarschenleuger: okay, well be sure to wipe front to back and have a nice day! That ended our session. Seems now, it's going around that I'm a bastard. Time's drawing near for a new username to lure fresh prey. Until next time my disease is.... -Insidious_T |
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